Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
