butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
