Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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