Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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