And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
