No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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