i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
