i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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