she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hippo gnu deer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
