The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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