Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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