This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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