from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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