the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
