yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
