You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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