Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
