it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
