you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
