he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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