no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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