I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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