Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize