Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
