Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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