The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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