u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
