She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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