how do flat chested girls get laid?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
