I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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