love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You work out of a Hotel?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
