When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
