Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
