To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
