me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
