brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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