fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
