That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
im on a boat
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