There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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