You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What drink are we having for lunch?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
