Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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