You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
