I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
