I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
