What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Will exercising make me less horny?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize