Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
