Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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