We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
