Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
