turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
