is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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