she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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