I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We are two peas in an std pod
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
