talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize