WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
