Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
