Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
