Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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