If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize