I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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