I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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