Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
