I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
