the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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