i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
