He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I can text with my tongue
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
