so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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