I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
