never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
