Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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