Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize